“Adulting” Is Hard: Why It’s Normal to Struggle and What Can Help
The moment you become a legal adult, there’s an unspoken expectation to have it all figured out: career, bills, relationships, self-care, health insurance, taxes, boundaries—the list goes on. If you're a young adult and feeling overwhelmed, you’re not failing. You’re human.
The term adulting may sound lighthearted, but it captures something very real: the stress of transitioning from adolescence to adulthood. This is a phase of life that’s often romanticized (“the freedom!”) but rarely discussed for what it truly is—messy, confusing, and emotionally taxing.
Why “Adulting” Feels So Hard
Here’s the truth: adulting isn’t a single task. It’s a collection of roles and responsibilities that come at you all at once. You might be juggling a full-time job (or looking for one), trying to keep up with bills, making healthcare decisions for the first time, and navigating adult relationships—all while still figuring out who you are.
Developmentally, your brain is still finalizing its growth through your twenties, especially in the areas that control impulse, decision-making, and emotional regulation. So, if you’re wondering why you’re exhausted trying to hold it all together, there’s a biological reason.
The Mental Health Toll
This stage of life comes with a unique mix of stress, uncertainty, and pressure—both internal and external. Many young adults report:
Anxiety around making the “right” life decisions
Depression linked to isolation or feeling “behind”
Burnout from trying to do it all without rest
Imposter syndrome, especially in professional or academic spaces
Shame or self-criticism for struggling with things that “should” be easy
If you’re dealing with any of this, you’re not alone. These feelings are not a personal flaw—they’re a natural response to being in a transition phase without a clear roadmap.
Tips for Navigating Adulting and Protecting Your Mental Health
Take it one decision at a time. You don’t need to have your five-year plan figured out. Making the next right-enough choice is good enough.
Ask for help. Whether it’s talking to a therapist, calling a parent or mentor, or crowdsourcing advice from friends—seeking support is a strength.
Set boundaries with yourself and others. You don’t have to say yes to every invitation, favor, or responsibility. Part of being an adult is learning what’s sustainable for you.
Redefine success. It’s okay if your life looks different than what you imagined. Growth isn’t linear, and your path is uniquely yours.
Prioritize rest and joy. Hustle culture will try to convince you that productivity equals worth. But your nervous system, and your well-being, need moments of play, pause, and pleasure.
Therapy Can Help
If you’re struggling with anxiety, self-doubt, or burnout, working with a therapist can help you build coping tools, explore identity shifts, and feel more grounded during this stage of life. Therapy isn’t just for crisis—it can be a space to reflect, grow, and reconnect with yourself.
Adulting isn’t a checklist you magically master—it’s a process of learning, unlearning, and showing up for yourself in the best way you can. Some days that looks like applying for jobs or paying off a bill. Other days it means taking a nap or crying in your car. Both are valid.
You’re not behind. You’re becoming. And that’s enough.